Women's 3s Obliterate Opponents in 6-0 Storm-Fuelled Showdown
On Saturday, the Women's 3s took to the pitch armed with grit, gumption, and a healthy disregard for the weather forecast. Facing torrential rain, gale-force winds, and the occasional firework that had everyone ducking like startled meerkats, they still managed to deliver a performance so dominant Mother Nature herself could’ve sponsored it.
Goals Galore: A Symphony of Soggy Brilliance
Grace made a debut to remember, slotting in a goal with the elegance of someone who clearly didn’t get the memo about the weather, but did get the one about chocolate prizes for goal scorers.
Abi, channelling her inner Joan of Arc ahead of her Halloween transformation, charged through the defence like a woman on a divine mission. Her selflessness gave her a goal in an epic tap-in moment taken straight from training by Hannah P. (Also known as our left-right-centre-forward). Well, less a tap-in and more a crusade—fiery, fearless, and full of medieval vengeance.
Hannah H, despite having only 1 hour of sleep, casually whipped out a reverse stick corker that had the opposition questioning their life choices.
Amy netted three fabulous goals. We still don’t know what spurred her on more, the want for a hatrick or the fear of hatrick avoidance penalties!
MOM & DOD: The Duality of Amy
Amy scooped both Player of the Match and Donkey of the Day. The MOM was for her goal-scoring wizardry. The DOD? For interrupting Anna’s Oscar-worthy team talk with a panicked “Someone’s stealing my car!” moment. Spoiler: no one was. The car was safe. Amy had just forgotten she’d given her keys to the team’s new fan base.
Jess: The Unsung Hero in a Swamp Suit
Goalkeeper Jess deserves a standing ovation for keeping a clean sheet while wearing what can only be described as a portable water feature. Her kit was sodden, heavy, and smelled like it had been through a bog snorkelling competition. Did she complain? Not once. Legend
Tactical Masterclass: Training Pays Off
This wasn’t just chaos and charisma; it was calculated brilliance. The team took every lesson from training and recent matches and turned them into a masterclass:
Defence pressed like pros and marked tighter than clingfilm on a bowl of leftovers.
Midfielders ran like gazelles, linking defence and attack with silky transitions and smart positioning.
Forwards made leads into dangerous spaces like they had GPS coordinates for the goal.
Final Whistle: 6-0 and Still Stylish
As the final whistle blew and the fireworks fizzled, the Women's 3s walked off the pitch soaked, slightly wind-battered, but utterly victorious. A 6-0 win in conditions that would make a duck reconsider its life choices? Iconic.