THD M1 4 - 2 West Hampstead M1
Saturday 11 November 2023
Dulwich College
Match Report
On sat our M1 did the unthinkable - won a game of hockey (4-2 as well, there was more than a goal in it!)
The day began auspiciously. Voted DoD the previous week, Dave was fulfilling his duties by buying the half time sweets. Two bags in hand, he headed to the self checkout to find the sweets scanned at 10p instead of the advertised £1.75. Immediately, he knew to do the right thing: exit the shop quickly without making eye contact with any staff. He whatsapp'd the team to explain what had happened and how he felt it was “our lucky day” before promptly missing the bus.
Meanwhile in Dulwich, Captain Jack (aka the original Jack, aka Mr Sparrow) had enlisted the help of wiley first mate Ben to cook an inexplicably large number of potatoes. Rather than order pizza like every other team had for teas this week, Mr Sparrow decided to show off his batch cooking and bean-can opening skills by making jacket potatoes for 60 people.
Arriving at Dulwich college, the team saw how well hockey can be played, with the (arguably-more-deserving-of-team-of-the-week) Men’s 2nd XI 5-0 up against top of their table.
The team came together in the changing room ready for George’s team talk - a three pronged pincer of: press, outletting and PCA. This, coupled with the good Rowntrees omens set us up to start the game well vs todays opposition: West Hampstead.
Despite always talking about warming up well and getting a fast start, this week we did exactly that, with Tom “the Thug” Edgington running 40 yards and slotting into the side netting. 1-0 THD. True to form, The Thug nearly gets in the book for big tackle but the ref insists an apology is more appropriate.
However, a setback quickly followed with star man Shaq Frost (yes, that’s really his surname) going off having pulled his lower back. (Reports vary as to whether this was due to carrying the team the previous week at East London away - please ask team video secretary Milo Kite for footage).
Uncharacterisically, we were remaining calm and controlling the game. A quick break later and we doubled our lead: Marvin calmly passed the ball into the goal via the defender’s foot. Marvin doesn’t do happiness and he didn’t react when he scored, but we love him all the same.
A bit of ill discipline and a couple of green cards brought us into half time, where the game suddenly got real: George threatened us with a £10 fine if anyone got yellow. A quick discussion followed, with 0’s and X’s drawn on whiteboard, of how not to get caught out by the oppo. The more trigger happy of the umpires blew his whistle to show half time was over and we started the second half 2-0 to the good.
Characteristically, we were caught out by the oppo and let a goal in straight away, but it wouldn’t be a Men’s 1’s game without a few nerves. West Hampstead started the half with high pace and energy, catching us napping. 2-1. We had been here before!
We managed to settle and go back to our more controlled hockey: we were keeping the ball very nicely around the back while not venturing forward too often. However, a nice break down the left saw Marvin squaring the ball between p-spot and goal for a simple deflection: 3-1, Marvin’s feelings betrayed him and he allowed himself a brief smile.
A little while later, with oppo CB arguing with the ref and not marking, Andrew crashed a ball through to Dave unmarked and five yards out. The ball looped high and dropped slowly into the goal, luckily the keeper had dived early and the wrong way. 4-1.
Andrew celebrates by strumming his stick like a guitar (and rightfully wins DoD). We don’t normally win games by 3 goal margins, and so West Hampstead scored again with a couple minutes to go, but by that point we could hold out and won 4-2.
We celebrated our first win of the campaign by eating an enormous amount of potatoes.