THD Vets 55s 10 – 0 Amersham

There are teams built over years. Carefully coached. Tactically drilled.

And then there was this.

A ramshackle collection of THD Vets and a few “close friends of THD Vets” (eligibility -  owns a stick, recognises a hockey pitch, over 55) assembled for the first time. 

The unmistakable fug of Deep Heat, Raljex, and mild apprehension hung in the air as limbs were stretched with varying degrees of success, and ibuprofen was double-dropped like Smarties.

Clarity was essential. Skipper Dicko delivered.

With 30 seconds to pushback, he gathered the group and offered this tactical masterclass: “You’ve seen the WhatsApp, so you know where you’re playing…”

Most hadn’t.

After a quick round of introductions, “You’re… sorry mate?”, we pushed back.

And then… something odd happened.

We were good. Really good.

Crisp passing, sharp transitions, proper movement off the ball. It looked less like a scratch side and more like a team that had played together for decades.. 

By half time we were 3–0 up...

To be fair, Amersham weren’t bad. But every time they ventured forward, they were shut down quickly and efficiently. They managed one shot all half, no penalty corners, and very little hope.

Goalkeeper Rob, meanwhile, was essentially a spectator. Rumours that he considered bringing a chair remain unconfirmed.
A brief tactical tweak at half time (forwards: “do a bit more running”) and we were off again.

The second half turned… brutal.

The passing stayed sharp, the movement relentless, and the goals started flowing. Amersham began to blow, then wilt, then collectively wish the game had finished somewhere around goal six.

Seven second-half goals later, the whistle finally brought a merciful end to proceedings.

Final score: 10–0.

Goals:
Alex (3) – midfield general, PC specialist, clinical throughout
Wardy (3) – a hat-trick, unique in the fact that he did not hit the ball cleanly once
JT (2) – efficient, composed, competent, like the postman, he always delivers
Steve (1) – tidy finish, celebrated like it was a World Cup winner
Charlie (1) – got on the scoresheet and dined out on it immediately

ONWARDS!!